Break-up Philosopher Gifts

"I thought I liked him despite his affectations. It turned out all I really liked were his affectations."

"My email is down... talk to me."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

"It's not you-it's me."

'Is it possible to turn him back into a frog?'

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"I'm leaving you, Steven....It's all there in my text message."

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

'Water cooler's really busy this time of day,'

'I'm sorry but I need my own space.'

'Sorry Bruce, but we have to stop seeing each other: I've changed, you have to understand...'

Squawk! The parrot goes or I go! The parrot goes or I go! Squawk!

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

'You're better off without him.'

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

"I broke off the relationship, then came the endless reminders, the sad letters and emails...It's tough cancelling a subscription."

Trust your instinct...listen to that little haunting voice that gives you subtle messages...'call in sick.'

'I suppose you're wondering why you're not on it!'

"I said our marriage was a 'go', Brenda. I didn't say it was a 'confirmed go'."

"You knew I was straight when you married me."

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'

'Will the lady be returning, sir?'

'I never want to see you again.'

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

"I was on hormone replacement for two years before I realized I needed Steve replacement."

I'm not sure if it was a compliment or not --- She said I was the snooze alarm on her biological clock.

'She was upset about breaking up with 'Phoenix',your 'plenty more fish in the sea' just made it worse!'

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

'I guess this means it's over between us.'

'I'm sorry, Frank, but I think I need some space.'