Break-up Philosopher Pillows

"I thought I liked him despite his affectations. It turned out all I really liked were his affectations."

"My email is down... talk to me."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

"It's not you-it's me."

"I'm leaving you, Steven....It's all there in my text message."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

'Is it possible to turn him back into a frog?'

'Water cooler's really busy this time of day,'

'Sorry Bruce, but we have to stop seeing each other: I've changed, you have to understand...'

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

'I'm sorry but I need my own space.'

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

'You're better off without him.'

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'

"I said our marriage was a 'go', Brenda. I didn't say it was a 'confirmed go'."

'I never want to see you again.'

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

"I broke off the relationship, then came the endless reminders, the sad letters and emails...It's tough cancelling a subscription."

"I was on hormone replacement for two years before I realized I needed Steve replacement."

'Will the lady be returning, sir?'

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

'She was upset about breaking up with 'Phoenix',your 'plenty more fish in the sea' just made it worse!'

"You knew I was straight when you married me."

'I suppose you're wondering why you're not on it!'

Trust your instinct...listen to that little haunting voice that gives you subtle messages...'call in sick.'

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

'I'm sorry, Frank, but I think I need some space.'

"An 'Irish divorce' doesn't have quite the same ring to it as a 'Mexican divorce'."