Perpetual Traveler Gifts

"Christ! How much further is it to the next rest stop!?!"

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

Rock - see you in a million years!

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

TV - MARS, weather: 'Very hot and dry days, bitterly cold nights and no precipitation for the next several million years!'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

US Airlines

"We've been from sea to shining sea! Why don't you admit you're lost!"

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

Scarecrow Directions

'English?...do...you...speak...ENGLISH?'

'Uh, no offense, but is there other life here?'

"Next vacation, let's leave the chicken home."

'We only have rooms with real teeth left!'

Angel hitchhiker has sign: 'Bible Belt'

"You're not ready for school to start, are you?"

"You are going on a long journey. You will throw your back out putting your bag in the overhead. You will never recover from jet lag. It will rain every day. You will lose your passport. Your flight home will be cancelled."

"Didn't they fly by earlier?"

"Your vacation is over, deal with it!"

"Well, come to think of it, we are creatures of habit: Always migrating to the same place and stopping at the same spots on the way..."

Welcome Student Ministers: 'I hardly slept last night, with all the Bible thumping!'

Jesus Fish

"For this I went to seminary."

Bob landed in Hell. And to make matters worse, they lost his luggage.

"Hi, honey—I'm home."

The Vicar in Customs

Ruby wasn't going to let her age slow her down.

Budget Air - Click here if you agree to be being treated like dirt

Looking After the Garden When You're Away: On no account let the neighbour's dog see you go...

'All communication devises must be turned off during take off, Reverend.'

"Oh--you're right. I see mine now. Sorry about that!"