Eternal Travelers Gifts

'Only one carry-on.'

Rock - see you in a million years!

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

Airports.

Cherub on a cloud

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

'Go to Hell'

"Professor Case, your longevity studies are just awesome."

The Pope's bags getting carried by an angel.

"What do you have to do to get business class?"

"This part of space feels especially weird right now."

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"You're not ready for school to start, are you?"

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

Bob landed in Hell. And to make matters worse, they lost his luggage.

"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"

"You are going on a long journey. You will throw your back out putting your bag in the overhead. You will never recover from jet lag. It will rain every day. You will lose your passport. Your flight home will be cancelled."

'Damned tourists.'

Priests on plane - "We must be near head office."

'It's been way easier to keep track of everyone since the Air Miles program.'

"Christ! How much further is it to the next rest stop!?!"

Annuals, Perennials, and Eternals

Homo Sapiens: always searching for answers.

'...I'm taking 9 months off between the end of the summer hols and the start of my gap year...'

"It's amazing how some people manage to make all of eternity seem even longer."

"According to this not only are we lost but in one way or another we've always been lost."

"If I let you bring your phone, do you promise not to try to take pics of yourself with God?"

'And did you pack that yourself'

'Woah! I must have gotten on the wrong bus.'

'Unless you're going to pass, get the hell out of the left lane!'

If there were one place on earth you'd never visit, where would that be, Randy? Easy: That would be McMurdo Station, Antarctica, little buddy. Nothing encourages hot snuggling more than being marooned in an icy wasteland. That would be a total waste of my skills of seduction. No challenge. I'd never visit the Mariana Trench. People don't live anywhere near there, and it's the deepest spot in the ocean ... so there'd be no wifi and not even satellite internet could reach it. We should have our ow

"Just which part of, 'Till death do us part' don't you get, Arthur?"

'Well, QUIT sending me back as a low-bid contractor.'

"This isn't exactly what I expected when I asked Sam's Travel, Inc. to send me to paradise."

Passport to eternity