Eternal Tourists Gifts

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

Rock - see you in a million years!

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

"You're getting close. This is the gift shop."

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

Celestial Navigation

Touring Holidays - On the P***

Vacation on the Moon.

Scarecrow Directions

Sigh...things wear oud, dust collects, people die... Why can't you just relax and enjoy life? Because one thing really worries me... Reincarnation, right? ou know me too well, woman.

"Professor Case, your longevity studies are just awesome."

"You're not ready for school to start, are you?"

The suite hereafter.

Bob landed in Hell. And to make matters worse, they lost his luggage.

"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"

"Your vacation is over, deal with it!"

"You are going on a long journey. You will throw your back out putting your bag in the overhead. You will never recover from jet lag. It will rain every day. You will lose your passport. Your flight home will be cancelled."

Ruby wasn't going to let her age slow her down.

"Christ! How much further is it to the next rest stop!?!"

"So you want to see the hot spots, huh?"

'I refuse to accept that it's really winter until the very last leaf's fallen from the trees'

'...I'm taking 9 months off between the end of the summer hols and the start of my gap year...'

"According to this not only are we lost but in one way or another we've always been lost."

Everest Sign in Heaven

"If I let you bring your phone, do you promise not to try to take pics of yourself with God?"

If there were one place on earth you'd never visit, where would that be, Randy? Easy: That would be McMurdo Station, Antarctica, little buddy. Nothing encourages hot snuggling more than being marooned in an icy wasteland. That would be a total waste of my skills of seduction. No challenge. I'd never visit the Mariana Trench. People don't live anywhere near there, and it's the deepest spot in the ocean ... so there'd be no wifi and not even satellite internet could reach it. We should have our ow

'Only one carry-on.'

"This isn't exactly what I expected when I asked Sam's Travel, Inc. to send me to paradise."

"Oh, this? It's just my copy of '1,001 Places to See Now That You're Dead'."

"Have you noticed how nobody seems to be in a hurry here?"

Passport to eternity

"It's just a little death defect."