Perennial Tourist Gifts

Ruby wasn't going to let her age slow her down.

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

"Caught another one!" "Let's eat!"

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

'Must be the lesser known Easter Egg Island.'

"Look on the GPS to see if there's any wormholes through time and space."

'Wow, they don't make trees like they used to.'

"Sorry, sir. The baggage must match the passenger."

"Dunno...they all look the same to me..."

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

Niche Extracurriculars

Celestial Navigation

Touring Holidays - On the P***

Easter Island Rock Climber

'Will you stop yelling save the whales and finish you pina colada?'

Portalouvre

'Any bargains going South?' (Bird asks travel agent).

"I think my fat has GPS. Every time I lose some, it always finds its way back home."

"So this is where it all ends up. . ."

'Charlie makes a game of everything.'

"But your room does have a sea view, it's 43 miles over there behind the power station."

Motatsu didn't want the guys to know that his wife made the shrunken heads by using a really hot dryer.

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'I can see a big camera, but no gun: Let's go!'

"This tribe doesn't live totally off the grid. They're selling T-shirts off their website, and they have a huge social media following."

'and to your left is Big Ben, and across the river you can see the London Eye'

'THIRTY BILLION? It only cost us three hundred to get away out here!'

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

Scarecrow Directions

'Drawing the Venetian blondes.'

"You gotta love this city, right?"