Perennial Student Gifts

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

'Well, if he can't be a Minuteman, he can be a minutedog.'

"I might have to go to school forever because the more I know the more I know I don't know."

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

Empty Headed Schoolboy

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

'Due to the record snowfall, every school on the face of the earth is closed except for Wolfbranch Elementary.'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

I'm doing my essay on John Milton's "Paradise Lost"...the video game.

Niche Extracurriculars

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Sometimes Doris wished that Charlie hadn't stayed so young at heart

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

'Why do I need to know stuff, when I can look anything up on the internet?'

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"I'll bet Miss Parker gets teacher of the year for this."

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

"Television sets evolved from animals. My randpop remembers when they had rabbit ears!"

"Can we wait a few seconds? I'm downloading the Excuse App."

"It's really hard to make any plans. By the time we grow up there will be all new jobs that nobody's ever heard of!"

"I think my fat has GPS. Every time I lose some, it always finds its way back home."

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.

"So I figure, as long as I stay a student then I can't repay my student loans."

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

'A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, Wally.' 'It's a good thing, I'm a know-it-all!'