Perennial Dieter Gifts

"I think my fat has GPS. Every time I lose some, it always finds its way back home."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Man with a pizza in 'Lover's Lane.'

Niche Extracurriculars

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'Tomorrow we'll just have lettuce and water, OK.'

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

Woman and sport trainer

"You're suffering from an overdose of food."

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

'You're going to go on a diet.'

"He tried intermittent fasting. But settled on continual slowing."

'Fad diet. The weight will come right back.'

Snacking on yourself causes NO net weight gain!!!

One week after new year. The rest of the year.

"I said, I'm on a garlic diet. So far, I've lost 5 pounds and 12 friends."

'I've started this new 'Detox' diet - no caffeine or alcohol...no processed foods...

Maude finally gets rid of her giant ass.

Ruby wasn't going to let her age slow her down.

"We ought to give this diet a name."

"The clouds of heaven have a load limit of 65 KG! Everyone over the load limit sinks down to Hell! 65,3 KG! You should not have eaten that last cake!"

'I have to go on a diet. Evidently the best things in life aren't fat free!!'

'Weight loss can cause liver damage...'

Weight Watchers: StOUT and thIN Desk Organizers

Cream tea...without the cream,butter or jam and no milk with the tea!

"Another diet?"

'No, I didn't cheat on Bob. It was worse than that. I cheated on my diet.'

Fantasy Diet League

The Fast Diet

Are you sticking with your resolution to lose weight? No, the South Beach diet wasn't working for me --- I hate sand in my food.

'We no longer serve trans-fats. Would you like some lettuce broth?'