Whimsical Dieter Gifts

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Today's special... donuts.

Let's skip to dessert

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Man with a pizza in 'Lover's Lane.'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

"The usual."

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

"It's the Chef Surprise."

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

'Tomorrow we'll just have lettuce and water, OK.'

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

Cafe Jelly, Set Lunch

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

'So...They got you too..'

"I hear the sparrow-goldfish chowder is to die for...at least once."

Snacking on yourself causes NO net weight gain!!!

"I said, I'm on a garlic diet. So far, I've lost 5 pounds and 12 friends."

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

No wonder I feel so bloated. They said this was No. Cal.'

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

Weight Watchers: StOUT and thIN Desk Organizers

"I start my diets with the best intentions, but when I see these legs and feet splashing around I go crazy!"

'Everytime there's a thaw, I lose a lot of weight.'

"Everything on the menu is locally sourced."

"Did you order the, eye of newt and bat's wing topping?"

"Hurry up! I'm gasping for a cheese sandwhich."

"I bought a metric scale. I'll no longer be disappointed with my weight because I won't know what it means."

'I'm not very hungry - just bring me some chopsticks.'

The Fast Diet

There's a thin person inside me trying to get out...probably more than one.