Whimsical Dieter Gifts

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Today's special... donuts.

Let's skip to dessert

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

"The usual."

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

"It's the Chef Surprise."

'Tomorrow we'll just have lettuce and water, OK.'

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

Cafe Jelly, Set Lunch

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

'So...They got you too..'

Snacking on yourself causes NO net weight gain!!!

"I hear the sparrow-goldfish chowder is to die for...at least once."

"I said, I'm on a garlic diet. So far, I've lost 5 pounds and 12 friends."

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

"Hurry up! I'm gasping for a cheese sandwhich."

"I start my diets with the best intentions, but when I see these legs and feet splashing around I go crazy!"

"Everything on the menu is locally sourced."

'Everytime there's a thaw, I lose a lot of weight.'

"Did you order the, eye of newt and bat's wing topping?"

"I bought a metric scale. I'll no longer be disappointed with my weight because I won't know what it means."

'I'm not very hungry - just bring me some chopsticks.'

Fantasy Diet League

The Fast Diet

There's a thin person inside me trying to get out...probably more than one.