Cheerful Dieter Gifts

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

"On the bright side, you did lose ten pounds...just not quite where you wanted!"

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Man with a pizza in 'Lover's Lane.'

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

'My parents are giving up desserts for Lent, so I'm balancing the family diet by giving up vegetables.'

'Tomorrow we'll just have lettuce and water, OK.'

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

'What I like about these diet pills is that they're chocolate covered.'

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

Snacking on yourself causes NO net weight gain!!!

Maude finally gets rid of her giant ass.

"I start my diets with the best intentions, but when I see these legs and feet splashing around I go crazy!"

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

'Is it organic?'

No wonder I feel so bloated. They said this was No. Cal.'

'Everytime there's a thaw, I lose a lot of weight.'

Weight Watchers: StOUT and thIN Desk Organizers

"I bought a metric scale. I'll no longer be disappointed with my weight because I won't know what it means."

There's a thin person inside me trying to get out...probably more than one.

The Fast Diet

'I just laid a new magic floor and it's talking to you: 'Lose weight! Lose weight!'

Are you sticking with your resolution to lose weight? No, the South Beach diet wasn't working for me --- I hate sand in my food.

'I don't mind pigging out as long as it's not on empty calories.'

Weight loss clinic, in and out doors.

Fantasy Diet League

'The little woman hide the remote control, and I've lost ten pounds looking for it!'

'With a grin like that you can't be sticking to your diet'