Delightful Dieters Gifts

'Every time I go on a diet, some kind of physiological disturbance kicks in that sends me off on a feeding frenzy.'

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'My parents are giving up desserts for Lent, so I'm balancing the family diet by giving up vegetables.'

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

"Really, yes, I'm on a diet too: I need to almost double my summer weight before the start of the winter hibernation..."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

'What I like about these diet pills is that they're chocolate covered.'

"Here's the deal. If it tastes good, don't eat it."

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

'These are natural and organic ... two slabs of hog's bacon deep fried in crispy batter and dipped in chocolate.'

Snacking on yourself causes NO net weight gain!!!

"I said, I'm on a garlic diet. So far, I've lost 5 pounds and 12 friends."

Maude finally gets rid of her giant ass.

I Speak Your Weight: "Lay off the pizza and chips!"

No wonder I feel so bloated. They said this was No. Cal.'

'I'm starting my exercise program slowly...I'm pulling on the refrigerator door 30 times a day now.'

'Is it organic?'

Weight Watchers: StOUT and thIN Desk Organizers

Diet.

'I don't mind pigging out as long as it's not on empty calories.'

'I just laid a new magic floor and it's talking to you: 'Lose weight! Lose weight!'

Fantasy Diet League

'Super size mine. Who knows when Mr. Money Bags will take me out grazing again.'

'I lost twelve pounds.'

'You're right. I should watch what I eat. From now on, I'll leave the refrigerator door open so the light shines on my midnight snack.'

'I'm on three different diets. That way I get to eat more.'

Overweight Woman Cheating On Scales.

M.D. If you really want to lose weight, you should switch back to the hook.