Delightful Dieters Pillows

'Every time I go on a diet, some kind of physiological disturbance kicks in that sends me off on a feeding frenzy.'

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'My parents are giving up desserts for Lent, so I'm balancing the family diet by giving up vegetables.'

"Really, yes, I'm on a diet too: I need to almost double my summer weight before the start of the winter hibernation..."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

'What I like about these diet pills is that they're chocolate covered.'

"Here's the deal. If it tastes good, don't eat it."

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

'These are natural and organic ... two slabs of hog's bacon deep fried in crispy batter and dipped in chocolate.'

Snacking on yourself causes NO net weight gain!!!

"I said, I'm on a garlic diet. So far, I've lost 5 pounds and 12 friends."

Maude finally gets rid of her giant ass.

I Speak Your Weight: "Lay off the pizza and chips!"

'I'm starting my exercise program slowly...I'm pulling on the refrigerator door 30 times a day now.'

'Is it organic?'

Diet.

'I don't mind pigging out as long as it's not on empty calories.'

Fantasy Diet League

'I just laid a new magic floor and it's talking to you: 'Lose weight! Lose weight!'

'Super size mine. Who knows when Mr. Money Bags will take me out grazing again.'

'I lost twelve pounds.'

'You're right. I should watch what I eat. From now on, I'll leave the refrigerator door open so the light shines on my midnight snack.'

'I'm on three different diets. That way I get to eat more.'

"Could you just tell the specials are low cal? I'm on this new placebo diet."

Overweight Woman Cheating On Scales.