Quirky Dieters Pillows

"I said, I'm on a garlic diet. So far, I've lost 5 pounds and 12 friends."

Overweight Woman Cheating On Scales.

Vegetarian Birds

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

Waiter to diner: 'I'm going to return you to the main menu.'

"Really, yes, I'm on a diet too: I need to almost double my summer weight before the start of the winter hibernation..."

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

Live yogurt.

Need to block those Cookies Santa!

'...and it has much less cholesterol than beef.'

"I'm on the 'half and half' diet. I eat half and my dog eats the other half."

Snacking on yourself causes NO net weight gain!!!

'You have to chew your food: All this feeding-frenzy business is bad for your digestive system...'

Maude finally gets rid of her giant ass.

I Speak Your Weight: "Lay off the pizza and chips!"

"It's an unpretentious little eatery..."

Are you still doing that canary goldfish combo?

Weight loss clinic, in and out doors.

'I don't mind pigging out as long as it's not on empty calories.'

Fantasy Diet League

'Every time I go on a diet, some kind of physiological disturbance kicks in that sends me off on a feeding frenzy.'

"You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude."

'The little woman hide the remote control, and I've lost ten pounds looking for it!'

'Super size mine. Who knows when Mr. Money Bags will take me out grazing again.'

'Bottles water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!...'

"Don't worry, I shall be putting an exclamation mark after it."

'I'm on three different diets. That way I get to eat more.'

'You're right. I should watch what I eat. From now on, I'll leave the refrigerator door open so the light shines on my midnight snack.'