Quirky Diet Follower Pillows

"I'm on the 'half and half' diet. I eat half and my dog eats the other half."

Vegetarian Birds

Yoga for Alcoholics

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Weird things I do because of the internet

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

"I AM following doctor's orders. He told me to cut back to one cup a day...right?!"

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

"I'm putting you on the 'Zombie Diet'. It's a no-brainer."

'Slow and hurl.'

Fruits and vegetables

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

Lady keeping fit by skipping with her mouse chord.

'Frozen dinners have more calories if you heat them up.'

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

Snacking on yourself causes NO net weight gain!!!

"I said, I'm on a garlic diet. So far, I've lost 5 pounds and 12 friends."

"Wait! Is it gluten-free?"

'You have to chew your food: All this feeding-frenzy business is bad for your digestive system...'

Patient to pharmacist: 'So, is it contagious?'

"Wait – how many seasons is this?"

The high fibre diet

'Happy Father's Day! We got you a diet book from all of us to all of you.'

Giant ape eating human as advised by diet book

'I'm on three different diets. That way I get to eat more.'

'But Darling, how can it possibly be bad for me? I only smoke a couple a day...'

'I just don't understand all the commotion over genetically altered foods, Jack. We've beens serving them, unbeknownst, to our employees in the very commissary for 10 years without a single complaint.'