Quirky Diet Enthusiasts Pillows

"It's my new weight loss method."

Vegetarian Birds

Tzatzikicicle

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

Waiter to diner: 'I'm going to return you to the main menu.'

'You're too fussy - the coffee isn't THAT bad!'

'Slow and hurl.'

"We're very strict. No soy milk, no veggie burgers, no margarine... nothing that even looks like an animal product."

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

Fruits and vegetables

"Parrot Fish? Well THAT is going to repeat on me later..."

Beach Burger - without sand 75 cents extra.

Roadkill Cafe...specials every day.

'What do you fancy? A Zargoid Fliptonian, or a Martian?'

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

Snacking on yourself causes NO net weight gain!!!

"There's a fly in my soup."

Waiter: 'Your Chicken wings Ma'am.'

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

"My veganism begins and ends with eating insects."

Parisian Bohemians - Proprietor of a rabbit restaurant catching stray cats

"I'm on the 'half and half' diet. I eat half and my dog eats the other half."

"I said, I'm on a garlic diet. So far, I've lost 5 pounds and 12 friends."

'Low fat, high fiber. We'll come back tonight for the rest of them.'