Dietary Quirk Admirer Pillows

"Wait! Is it gluten-free?"

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Vegetarian Birds

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

"The feeding of the fad thousand"

Roadkill Cafe...specials every day.

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"My veganism begins and ends with eating insects."

Waiter: 'Your Chicken wings Ma'am.'

"I'm on the 'half and half' diet. I eat half and my dog eats the other half."

At little Jessica's tea party, nobody ate a bite, claiming they were stuffed

"...Who ordered the ham and cheese on banana bread?"

"Hmmmm...What am I in the mood for?"

'I'm a finicky vegetarian. I don't eat eggs unless they're poached. I don't eat meat, unless it is properly marinated. I don't eat fish unless it's breaded and fried.'

Toblerone - Toblertwo.

''Light' beer bottles. Somewhere there's a slob on a diet.'

'You must be skinnier than this to eat at buffet bar.'

"Some Fresh Rhino Horn in your drink, sir?"

"If it's worth anything, I just choked to death in a vegan joint."

All natural, no fat, cholesterol, carb, sodium, fiber, chemical additives, and we spiced it up so you'd never know it was sawdust.

Remember, Mrs. Gottfried, no snacking between diet books.

The warren buffet.

"Sardine on pumpernickel is an unusual request, your honor, but this is an unusual trial."

"Okay, who gets the beef and who gets the ants?"

Trail Mix: Contains No Less than 10% Actual Trail.

'I just don't understand all the commotion over genetically altered foods, Jack. We've beens serving them, unbeknownst, to our employees in the very commissary for 10 years without a single complaint.'

"It's my new weight loss method."

'Flying ants?...Really? Just what kind of twisted fad diet have you put me on?'

"It's not fair, you only take me out when you know I'm dieting!"

'Good news, wine MUST be calorie free. Why? Because it's a liquid, not a food!'

'Vegetation makes up the bulk of my diet, but I supplement it with vegetarians.'

The Temptation of Crust