Diet Satire Admirer Pillows

Toblerone - Toblertwo.

"Two vegans, please."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"I'm on a diet, how many calories in a fly?"

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

'I try to eat a varied diet. One day I'll eat dark chocolate, one day I'll eat white chocolate and one day I'll eat milk chocolate.'

Maybe yuou simply have too many omega 3 fatty acids

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

"There is some evidence that chocolate can be good for you... But the health benefits tend to fade after the first 20 kilos."

'The diet plate is just like the regular plate, M'sieur, except that you have to eat it through a tennis racquet.'

Excess Baggage: If calories consumed on vacation don't count, then little creatures must sneak into your room at night to shrink your clothes.

"Mr. Whopple, time to slow down on the veggie diet!"

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

'No! No! - it's an ELASTIC band I want!'

'I hate it when they take the food pyramid, mix it all together and serve it in a trough!'

Excess Baggage: From the 'Travel Promises that never meant to be kept' department.

"I'm on the whisky diet - I've lost 3 days already..."

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

"Can you get on the scale please? I'm on a diet and need to monitor my food intake..."

'So? -- What could be more Zen than empty calories?'

Slim-quik liquid diet box floats up to man stranded on a desert island.

'Looking at the stars makes me feel small. I'm going off of my diet.'

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'