Diet Satire Lover Pillows

"We agreed to a 'cheat day' on our diet. . . she brought home ice cream and I brought home my yoga instructor...."

"Two vegans, please."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

The Official Covid-19 Diet

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"I'm on a diet, how many calories in a fly?"

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

'I warned you about stuffing yourself with carbs, didn't I?'

No, you don't need to be "gluten-free." I said "glutton-free"!

"The doctor said it wouldn't hurt to fudge a little on my diet."

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"Turns out it was all water weight."

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

'I try to eat a varied diet. One day I'll eat dark chocolate, one day I'll eat white chocolate and one day I'll eat milk chocolate.'

Maybe yuou simply have too many omega 3 fatty acids

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

"There is some evidence that chocolate can be good for you... But the health benefits tend to fade after the first 20 kilos."

"Well, it's like they say; 230 is the new 180."

My budgie likes Mars bars.

"I'm on the whisky diet - I've lost 3 days already..."

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

"Can you get on the scale please? I'm on a diet and need to monitor my food intake..."

'The diet plate is just like the regular plate, M'sieur, except that you have to eat it through a tennis racquet.'

Slim-quik liquid diet box floats up to man stranded on a desert island.

'I hate it when they take the food pyramid, mix it all together and serve it in a trough!'

Try to cut down on your salt intake.