Diet Parody Appreciator Pillows

"Mr. Whopple, time to slow down on the veggie diet!"

"Two vegans, please."

The Official Covid-19 Diet

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"The doctor said it wouldn't hurt to fudge a little on my diet."

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

'Does it come in soy lite?'

"There is some evidence that chocolate can be good for you... But the health benefits tend to fade after the first 20 kilos."

I've been trying to cut back on my salt intake. I'd also like to do that, but unfortunately, my main source of salt comes from tears streaming into my mouth.

"Well, it's like they say; 230 is the new 180."

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

Excess Baggage: From the 'Travel Promises that never meant to be kept' department.

Excess Baggage: If calories consumed on vacation don't count, then little creatures must sneak into your room at night to shrink your clothes.

Slim-quik liquid diet box floats up to man stranded on a desert island.

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

"I'm on the whisky diet - I've lost 3 days already..."

"Can you get on the scale please? I'm on a diet and need to monitor my food intake..."

'I hate it when they take the food pyramid, mix it all together and serve it in a trough!'

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

At little Jessica's tea party, nobody ate a bite, claiming they were stuffed

Have you got any nails? I'm on a diet.

"What!! I get hungry standing around all day."

"I put an olive in my beer and turn it into a health drink."

Mother Nature's Health Foods

Toblerone - Toblertwo.

'You must be skinnier than this to eat at buffet bar.'

"You better not be cheating on our Atkins diet buster!"

'Hey! I've lost two stone!'

"My doctor said I'm digging my own grave with a spoon and fork. It'll take longer if I use only a fork."