Diet Comedy Lover Pillows

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"I'm on a diet, how many calories in a fly?"

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens in my diet.'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"The doctor said it wouldn't hurt to fudge a little on my diet."

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

Maybe yuou simply have too many omega 3 fatty acids

'I try to eat a varied diet. One day I'll eat dark chocolate, one day I'll eat white chocolate and one day I'll eat milk chocolate.'

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

Overweight Man With Skipping Rope - To Be Taken 3 Times A Day.

"I've been on the hip and thigh diet."

'Does it come in soy lite?'

'Quit chewing tobacco? But that's the only source of fiber I get.'

My budgie likes Mars bars.

Woman on scales.

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

Slim-quik liquid diet box floats up to man stranded on a desert island.

Excess Baggage: From the 'Travel Promises that never meant to be kept' department.

"I'm on the whisky diet - I've lost 3 days already..."

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'