Diet Comic Lover Pillows

No, you don't need to be "gluten-free." I said "glutton-free"!

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens in my diet.'

"I'm on a diet, how many calories in a fly?"

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

'I warned you about stuffing yourself with carbs, didn't I?'

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"The doctor said it wouldn't hurt to fudge a little on my diet."

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

The real reason salad aids weight loss

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

'I try to eat a varied diet. One day I'll eat dark chocolate, one day I'll eat white chocolate and one day I'll eat milk chocolate.'

Maybe yuou simply have too many omega 3 fatty acids

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

"Well, it's like they say; 230 is the new 180."

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

My budgie likes Mars bars.

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

'Looking at the stars makes me feel small. I'm going off of my diet.'

'No! No! - it's an ELASTIC band I want!'

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

'So? -- What could be more Zen than empty calories?'

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

'The diet plate is just like the regular plate, M'sieur, except that you have to eat it through a tennis racquet.'

'Cut way back on grabbing for the gusto, and don't put any salt on it.'

"Hold on ... I think a table's about to open up."