Dieting Delight Pillows

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

'Is it organic?'

'I just laid a new magic floor and it's talking to you: 'Lose weight! Lose weight!'

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'Greek restaurant?' 'No, menu upside down.'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

"How did you find your steak, sir?"

'What I like about these diet pills is that they're chocolate covered.'

"Don't eat anything fatty...you're not listening, Fatty...I said, 'Don't eat anything!'"

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

'I'll give you a tip mate, stop looking down my wife's dress'

'I'll be back to take your order as soon as I've eaten.'

'Diet Plan Rule number one: Stop using ice cream truck music as your ringtone.'

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

'I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't always fast enough...'

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

Sugar Maple: Regular/Calorie-Reduced

'How's the chilli today?'; 'Much better than yesterday - I think it had a good night's sleep.'

'These are natural and organic ... two slabs of hog's bacon deep fried in crispy batter and dipped in chocolate.'

'Freezer is on the blink.'

Diet - Stop stuffing your face"

'Our chicken patties are beef and pork.'

'Waiter! -- this alphabet soup is making unwelcome sexual remarks!'

"We also have pease porridge, hot or cold. Not terribly fresh, I'm afraid."

'No, it's not that good, but it is that expensive.'