Dieting Delight Gifts

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

'Is it organic?'

'I just laid a new magic floor and it's talking to you: 'Lose weight! Lose weight!'

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

No, sir, that entr

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'Greek restaurant?' 'No, menu upside down.'

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

"How did you find your steak, sir?"

'What I like about these diet pills is that they're chocolate covered.'

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

'Diet Plan Rule number one: Stop using ice cream truck music as your ringtone.'

'I'll give you a tip mate, stop looking down my wife's dress'

'I'll be back to take your order as soon as I've eaten.'

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

'I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't always fast enough...'

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

"Don't eat anything fatty...you're not listening, Fatty...I said, 'Don't eat anything!'"

'How's the chilli today?'; 'Much better than yesterday - I think it had a good night's sleep.'

'Freezer is on the blink.'

'These are natural and organic ... two slabs of hog's bacon deep fried in crispy batter and dipped in chocolate.'

Sugar Maple: Regular/Calorie-Reduced

Diet - Stop stuffing your face"

"We also have pease porridge, hot or cold. Not terribly fresh, I'm afraid."

Weight Watchers: StOUT and thIN Desk Organizers

'Our chicken patties are beef and pork.'