Dieting Delighter Gifts

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Shrink

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

"I do diet...between snacks."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

"Buy them - and never look back."

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"You research diets, then order junk food online. Your computer isn't broken, it's just confused."

Woman and scales.

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

"You forgot my Diet Cola."

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.