Dietary Dreamer Gifts

"....Need some of this nice mixed salad, to stick in the fridge & chuck out next week."

'I really want a tiny waist but I'll settle for a winey taste!'

Counting ribs

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

Shrink

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

"I do diet...between snacks."

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

Woman and scales.

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

"Buy them - and never look back."

Diet Sugar House.

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

"Big deal about your weight loss advice! I lost my christmas job at Wal-Mart!"

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

"We're not dividing the bill. We're dividing the calories. Two people had cheesecake..."

Waiter: 'Here you are ma'am.Your Walled-off salad.' a waiter serving a woman a Waldorf salad surrounded by a brick wall

"It might sound silly, but I don't think this job is good for my diet."