Dietary Dreamer T-Shirts

"....Need some of this nice mixed salad, to stick in the fridge & chuck out next week."

'I really want a tiny waist but I'll settle for a winey taste!'

Counting ribs

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

Dieting Motivation.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

Shrink

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

"I do diet...between snacks."

Diet Sugar House.

Woman and scales.

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"Buy them - and never look back."

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

Humble beginnings of the International House of Pancakes

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

Waiter: 'Here you are ma'am.Your Walled-off salad.' a waiter serving a woman a Waldorf salad surrounded by a brick wall

"There were days he could kill for a piece of tofu."