Dining Dreamer T-Shirts

Waiter: 'Here you are ma'am.Your Walled-off salad.' a waiter serving a woman a Waldorf salad surrounded by a brick wall

Counting ribs

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Today's special... donuts.

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

Cupcake Excitement Scale

'Shall we bother with the sweet, chubby-chops?'

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

Dieting Motivation.

The Bare Minimum

"How come we never have 'Baked Alaska'?"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

"You arrived as bottom-feeders, but you shall leave as bottom-gourmands."

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

Dogs and Cake

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

"I do diet...between snacks."

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

Giraffe's Ice-cream.

Baking