Fine Dining Dreamer T-Shirts

'Now if only a bottle of white wine would float by.'

"Coarsely ground pepper that's way too coarse for a conventional pepper mill."

Counting ribs

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Expense account or regular?"

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

"Regular service or affected?"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"You arrived as bottom-feeders, but you shall leave as bottom-gourmands."

'How would you like that? Medium, rare, or wrapped in plastic on a foam tray?'

"Aperitif?"

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

"Perhaps I'm asking too much of you in the way of companionship."

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

Lunch

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

"Soup?"

Waiter: 'Here you are ma'am.Your Walled-off salad.' a waiter serving a woman a Waldorf salad surrounded by a brick wall

'Ta Da! A brand new set of festive outdoor dinnerware for all my summer entertaining!!'

"I'm sending it back. This doesn't taste funny at all."

The wine speaks for itself

Dîner Transportable - plus dessert.

'Sir, one waiter is enough to bring the meals, but it takes two to carry the bill.'

'I wish I had eaten all that bread.'

"If you order that, you will impress me."

"Last night I dreamt I was in a fancy french restaurant and everyone was very glad to see me."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

"What am I making for dinner tonight?"