Dieting Daydreamer Gifts

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

Dieting Motivation.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"You've got to eat less, exercise more and try to stay out of trouble. You're not fit to stand trial."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

It took a while but Henk finally did lose his Christmas bum.

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

Shrink

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

Error in low-fat pizza design.

"I do diet...between snacks."

'So, how did the crash diet go?'

Interior Un-Decorator: We Help You Downsize!

Woman and scales.