Weight Loss Dreamer Gifts

Woman at Nutrition Center has desk in and out boxes labeled Fat On and Fat Off.

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Sleepwalker on treadmill

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

Dieting Motivation.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"So has this obsession about your weight ever led to thoughts of suicide?"

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

James's Mayfair Gym - Punting Machine.

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

Built and Built without a permit.

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

"My diet book is outselling yours."

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

Shrink

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

"I do diet...between snacks."

Woman and scales.

Interior Un-Decorator: We Help You Downsize!

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

'I AM going to join a gym, but I've got to get in shape first. . .'

"Buy them - and never look back."

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'