Dieting Darling Gifts

Diet - Stop stuffing your face"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

'Diet considerations.'

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Valleyview diet clinic

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

"You've got to eat less, exercise more and try to stay out of trouble. You're not fit to stand trial."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

Too Skinny, Too Fat

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away