Dieting Daredevil Gifts

Error in low-fat pizza design.

So this 'flamingo'diet, does it work?

'Im here for the weight loss programme.'

"Sorry, but I'm cheating on my diet and I don't like loose ends."

PIGGERS ANONYMOUS ...'We have a new symbol to help define our dietary guidelines.'

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

'This one is a dieter's dream! Any visits to it between meals and it self destructs!'

'So, how did the crash diet go?'

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

"I'm going to put you on a different diet, Mrs. Harris."

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

'First the good news -- You're going to have a lot more money to spend on clothing and shelter.'

'Time to decide what diet we're going on this week.'

'We no longer serve trans-fats. Would you like some lettuce broth?'

Genie.

"We don't have any chalk, Kevin. I ate it all."

"You've got to eat less, exercise more and try to stay out of trouble. You're not fit to stand trial."

"It's our most effective diet plan - Hugo, here, follows you around with a stomach pump!"

"The nurse says I'm morbidly obese. . . so what are you going to do about it!"

"I dress like this on the scale so I can blame not hitting my weight goal on all the extra clothing."

"The kids are still in the hospital, the dog is dead, but I lost 15 kilos in one week! Next month I'll let my husband cook again!"

'For seven days I do your eating for you. Slim week.'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'Let's try a new approach - I want you to go to the dentist and have all your teeth pulled out.'

'Get rid of your microwave -- at least that'll delay your meals a little.'

'Have you noticed that when you're on a diet the food you cheat with tastes so much better.'

'So far, I've lost three pounds on the Ratkins Diet!'

'It doesn't matter, Mr. Katz — you're overweight standard or metric.'

I'm already two weeks ahead of my diet schedule.

I want you to lose 50 pounds, and then tell me how you did it.

'Still on the diet pills, huh?'

Weight and Misfortune.

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"'Tis the season for Ozempic."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."