Dietary Daredevil Gifts

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

Fast food trap.

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

"Me veganism begins and ends with eating insects."

"Would you believe it, they don't even have an option for vegan organic beef recipes from Bolivia!"

What a health nut might leave out for Santa

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

'..May the best diet win.'

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

'Hi, yourself.'

One-Stop Shopping. Illegal. Immoral. Fattening.

Tell me more about the sunflower seed diet.

"I'm taking you off the fish diet."

"Wheat bran, prunes and black coffee for breakfast?! What was I thinki — oh, noooo..."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'It's my favorite.'

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Chocs away.

'Brie okay?.' 'Very runny.'

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

Anti-inflammation recipes

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

"I'm unable to process this image."

"Gigot de sept heures."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza