Dieting Darling Pillows

Diet - Stop stuffing your face"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Diet considerations.'

Valleyview diet clinic

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"You've got to eat less, exercise more and try to stay out of trouble. You're not fit to stand trial."

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Too Skinny, Too Fat

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away