Dietary Thrill-seeker Gifts

Sugar Maple: Regular/Calorie-Reduced

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"I asked my mother to pack my parachute and she packed my lunch instead."

Anti-inflammation recipes

International House of Excrement

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

'New Barbeque.'

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

"Mom says I should eat differnt colored foods. I'll have a pizza with jelly beans."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

"I'm using this travel site to map out a trip to the land of Everything's Deep Fat Fried."

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

"All the adventure is gone since the bred out all the Trichinosis."

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

"Wheat bran, prunes and black coffee for breakfast?! What was I thinki — oh, noooo..."

Obese Hansel and Grettle

"On Wall Street, yesterday's panic selling was replaced by panic buying."

"More protein? How about some veggies once in a while?"

Fast food trap.

'His snacks and his meals are beginning to OVERLAP!'

'Hi, yourself.'

"It's General Gau's Strange Flavored Chicken prepared by Mrs. Howel's odd looking husband."

"You'll find out what the chef's surprise is when you get your bill."

What to serve to meet most dietary restrictions