Dietary Thrill-seeker Gifts

Sugar Maple: Regular/Calorie-Reduced

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Anti-inflammation recipes

International House of Excrement

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

'New Barbeque.'

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

"Mom says I should eat differnt colored foods. I'll have a pizza with jelly beans."

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"I'm using this travel site to map out a trip to the land of Everything's Deep Fat Fried."

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

"All the adventure is gone since the bred out all the Trichinosis."

"Wheat bran, prunes and black coffee for breakfast?! What was I thinki — oh, noooo..."

Obese Hansel and Grettle

"On Wall Street, yesterday's panic selling was replaced by panic buying."

"More protein? How about some veggies once in a while?"

'His snacks and his meals are beginning to OVERLAP!'

Fast food trap.

"It's General Gau's Strange Flavored Chicken prepared by Mrs. Howel's odd looking husband."

'Hi, yourself.'

"The Chef's Special is to die for. If you order it, you'll need to sign a waiver."

"I'm taking you off the fish diet."

What to serve to meet most dietary restrictions