Gourmet Thrill-seeker Gifts

'I'd appreciate it if you'd order the Chef's surprise. We don't get all that much excitement around here.'

"Okay - This is your last chance to back out."

"You'll find out what the chef's surprise is when you get your bill."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

I wish I'd had the review.

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

Haute Chinese

Join me for dinner?

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

The first law of barbecuing. Your tongs will never be long enough.

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'Pass the grey stuff.'

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

Cut out and keep your own Chef

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

A restaurant with a "Main Dining Room" and a "Room for Dessert".

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

'It's an acquired taste!'

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

"I'm told the items marked with happy faces are especially yummy."