Gastro Thrill Seeker Gifts

"I'd like to try something different- something that takes a lot of guts to eat."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

I wish I'd had the review.

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Picasso

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

"Is there anybody there?"

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

Tunnel of Workaholics

In the Works: Eurocheese, Eurobread, Eurowine.

"What would you serve with toast?"

"I'm using this travel site to map out a trip to the land of Everything's Deep Fat Fried."

Couple in restaurant, "Sorry it's slow, Chef's got the runs"

"Have you folks eaten here before, or shall I explain the concept?"

Capturing a Cook

Napoleon Blownafart

'Delicious. Mind giving me the recipe?'

'As a gastroenterologist, what would you take for this soup?'

"I know you didn't order meatballs. That's the gravy."

'I'm starved. Instead of a fly in my soup, make it a mouse.'

'And thank you for a lovely evening!'

Gastro Gnomes

'A table near the wine steward, please.'

'Welcome monsieur et madame, may I take your coats, gloves and savings?'

"Hold on ... I think a table's about to open up."

"You'll find out what the chef's surprise is when you get your bill."

'Enjoy!' Restaurant

Sugar Maple: Regular/Calorie-Reduced

'Just mash them the old-fashioned way, Doris.'

'I'd appreciate it if you'd order the Chef's surprise. We don't get all that much excitement around here.'

"No way, Mom, this is my favorite game!"