Proud Dieter Pillows

'I lost twelve pounds.'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

'…and I want you to limit yourself to 3 feeding frenzies a day.'

"This is the 'carboniferous' age and we're here in the 'Carbs-Are-Really-Bad-For-Us' Age."

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."

'When does the fridge go on a diet?'

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

Obesity Report

"Ready to head back?"