Dieter With A Twist Pillows

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

'I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't always fast enough...'

"You're suffering from an overdose of food."

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

Snacking on yourself causes NO net weight gain!!!

'The diet plate is just like the regular plate, M'sieur, except that you have to eat it through a tennis racquet.'

"I said, I'm on a garlic diet. So far, I've lost 5 pounds and 12 friends."

Maude finally gets rid of her giant ass.

"The clouds of heaven have a load limit of 65 KG! Everyone over the load limit sinks down to Hell! 65,3 KG! You should not have eaten that last cake!"

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

"I start my diets with the best intentions, but when I see these legs and feet splashing around I go crazy!"

"I bought a metric scale. I'll no longer be disappointed with my weight because I won't know what it means."

'Fancy a liquid lunch?'

'The little woman hide the remote control, and I've lost ten pounds looking for it!'

'Every time I go on a diet, some kind of physiological disturbance kicks in that sends me off on a feeding frenzy.'

Jogging incentives.

"You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude."

Weight loss clinic, in and out doors.

'With a grin like that you can't be sticking to your diet'

'I don't mind pigging out as long as it's not on empty calories.'

Fantasy Diet League

"Don't worry, I shall be putting an exclamation mark after it."

'I lost twelve pounds.'

'You're right. I should watch what I eat. From now on, I'll leave the refrigerator door open so the light shines on my midnight snack.'

'I'm on three different diets. That way I get to eat more.'

Overweight Woman Cheating On Scales.