Casual Dieter Gifts

Man with a pizza in 'Lover's Lane.'

'Tomorrow we'll just have lettuce and water, OK.'

My dietary approach is pretty simple

Are you sticking with your resolution to lose weight? No, the South Beach diet wasn't working for me --- I hate sand in my food.

The Fast Diet

There's a thin person inside me trying to get out...probably more than one.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

"I think my fat has GPS. Every time I lose some, it always finds its way back home."

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

'What I like about these diet pills is that they're chocolate covered.'

"You're suffering from an overdose of food."

"Here's the deal. If it tastes good, don't eat it."

'You're going to go on a diet.'

Snacking on yourself causes NO net weight gain!!!

"He tried intermittent fasting. But settled on continual slowing."

One week after new year. The rest of the year.

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'

Maude finally gets rid of her giant ass.

'I've started this new 'Detox' diet - no caffeine or alcohol...no processed foods...

"I start my diets with the best intentions, but when I see these legs and feet splashing around I go crazy!"

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

Cream tea...without the cream,butter or jam and no milk with the tea!

Weight Watchers: StOUT and thIN Desk Organizers

'Weight loss can cause liver damage...'

"We ought to give this diet a name."

"The clouds of heaven have a load limit of 65 KG! Everyone over the load limit sinks down to Hell! 65,3 KG! You should not have eaten that last cake!"

'We no longer serve trans-fats. Would you like some lettuce broth?'