Serial Dieter Gifts

"Another diet?"

'No, I didn't cheat on Bob. It was worse than that. I cheated on my diet.'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

"I AM following doctor's orders. He told me to cut back to one cup a day...right?!"

"...there, I found it. Stellar! I love this nutrition app!"

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

"I think my fat has GPS. Every time I lose some, it always finds its way back home."

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

'What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?' 'It never eats.'

'She's on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around she's eating something.'

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'I've got a perfect investment plan: For half my money, I'll buy cookie plant stocks and for the the other half, I'll buy diet pill makers stocks!'

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

'I envy your metabolism.'

Woman and sport trainer

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.