Dedicated Dieter Gifts

Woman and sport trainer

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

Critisize your weight.

Secretive Weigh In.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'Diet considerations.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'