Determined Dieter Gifts

One week after new year. The rest of the year.

"Dieting all morning, and for what?!"

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Man with a pizza in 'Lover's Lane.'

"...there, I found it. Stellar! I love this nutrition app!"

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

'Tomorrow we'll just have lettuce and water, OK.'

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

Woman and sport trainer

'What I like about these diet pills is that they're chocolate covered.'

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

"You're suffering from an overdose of food."

'You're going to go on a diet.'

Snacking on yourself causes NO net weight gain!!!

'I've started this new 'Detox' diet - no caffeine or alcohol...no processed foods...

Maude finally gets rid of her giant ass.

Cream tea...without the cream,butter or jam and no milk with the tea!

'Knock off the between-feast snacking.'

'Chew each bite ten times? †I'm a busy man!'

'Weight loss can cause liver damage...'

"The clouds of heaven have a load limit of 65 KG! Everyone over the load limit sinks down to Hell! 65,3 KG! You should not have eaten that last cake!"

"Don't forget to deduct 2 pounds for my clothes and 5.5 ounces for my phone."

"No . . . erasing food-search-apps from your browser history doesn't count as dieting."

Fantasy Diet League

'No, I didn't cheat on Bob. It was worse than that. I cheated on my diet.'

"Another diet?"

I still think the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top.

'It looks like your computer may block cookies, but you don't.'

Are you sticking with your resolution to lose weight? No, the South Beach diet wasn't working for me --- I hate sand in my food.

The Fast Diet

"This Subway Diet is way better than that Atkins nonsense."

There's a thin person inside me trying to get out...probably more than one.