Perennial Youth Gifts

'I bet my mum's had more 29th birthdays than yours!''

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

Empty Headed Schoolboy

Elderly People

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Sometimes Doris wished that Charlie hadn't stayed so young at heart

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

"I think my fat has GPS. Every time I lose some, it always finds its way back home."

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

"So I figure, as long as I stay a student then I can't repay my student loans."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"They grow up so slow."

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

Another Degree and Deeper in Debt

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

'I'm sure I'm getting worry lines worring if this anti wrinkle cream is working!'

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

"I heard raising your grandkids can help keep you young. Please tell me there's an easier way."

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

"I've learned so much from my mistakes, I've decided to keep making them!"

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

'I'm 68 years old. I keep waiting to be an adult. How do you know when you're an adult.' 'When snow ceases to be fun!'

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.