Eternal Traveler Gifts

Passport to eternity

Rock - see you in a million years!

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

Cherub on a cloud

'Go to Hell'

"Is it just me or are wagon wheels smaller than they used to be?"

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

Humans and aliens have landed on new planet at the same time.

"Professor Case, your longevity studies are just awesome."

The Pope's bags getting carried by an angel.

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"This part of space feels especially weird right now."

"You're not ready for school to start, are you?"

Bob landed in Hell. And to make matters worse, they lost his luggage.

"You are going on a long journey. You will throw your back out putting your bag in the overhead. You will never recover from jet lag. It will rain every day. You will lose your passport. Your flight home will be cancelled."

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

'Damned tourists.'

Priests on plane - "We must be near head office."

Angels waiting at baggage reclaim for their harps.

"Christ! How much further is it to the next rest stop!?!"

Homo Sapiens: always searching for answers.

Annuals, Perennials, and Eternals

'It's been way easier to keep track of everyone since the Air Miles program.'

'...I'm taking 9 months off between the end of the summer hols and the start of my gap year...'

A never ending 3D maze knot.

"According to this not only are we lost but in one way or another we've always been lost."

"If I let you bring your phone, do you promise not to try to take pics of yourself with God?"

'And did you pack that yourself'

"Continuous piped music! No wonder so many opt for reincarnation."

If there were one place on earth you'd never visit, where would that be, Randy? Easy: That would be McMurdo Station, Antarctica, little buddy. Nothing encourages hot snuggling more than being marooned in an icy wasteland. That would be a total waste of my skills of seduction. No challenge. I'd never visit the Mariana Trench. People don't live anywhere near there, and it's the deepest spot in the ocean ... so there'd be no wifi and not even satellite internet could reach it. We should have our ow

"Eventually, Howard wants to dump himself in the Atlantic and serve as an artificial reef for fish."

'Woah! I must have gotten on the wrong bus.'

'Only one carry-on.'

'Well, QUIT sending me back as a low-bid contractor.'

'Don't get me started - I could go on about infinity forever.'