Perpetual Traveler Pillows

"Christ! How much further is it to the next rest stop!?!"

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

Rock - see you in a million years!

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

TV - MARS, weather: 'Very hot and dry days, bitterly cold nights and no precipitation for the next several million years!'

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

US Airlines

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

"We've been from sea to shining sea! Why don't you admit you're lost!"

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

Scarecrow Directions

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

'English?...do...you...speak...ENGLISH?'

'We only have rooms with real teeth left!'

'Uh, no offense, but is there other life here?'

"Next vacation, let's leave the chicken home."

Angel hitchhiker has sign: 'Bible Belt'

"You're not ready for school to start, are you?"

"Well, come to think of it, we are creatures of habit: Always migrating to the same place and stopping at the same spots on the way..."

"Didn't they fly by earlier?"

"You are going on a long journey. You will throw your back out putting your bag in the overhead. You will never recover from jet lag. It will rain every day. You will lose your passport. Your flight home will be cancelled."

Jesus Fish

Bob landed in Hell. And to make matters worse, they lost his luggage.

"For this I went to seminary."

"Your vacation is over, deal with it!"

"Hi, honey—I'm home."

Welcome Student Ministers: 'I hardly slept last night, with all the Bible thumping!'

The Vicar in Customs

Ruby wasn't going to let her age slow her down.

Budget Air - Click here if you agree to be being treated like dirt

'All communication devises must be turned off during take off, Reverend.'

Looking After the Garden When You're Away: On no account let the neighbour's dog see you go...

'Welcome to Lourdes'