Patient Pedestrian Gifts

Expect delays.

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

'Bored?'

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"Ah, the waiter ... And I was beginning to wonder if we really existed!"

'I'm going to be a little late.'

Please Wait and wait and wait.

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

"Dehumanization, maybe, but not depersonalization."

"Are you going to move?"

A feast in a hospital bed.

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

Thanks TSA

'It's a parasol - they don't know whether it will be rain or shine!'

'There's only one side effect from this medication. It starts when you don't pay my bill!'

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"Take me! After 15 minutes of cell phone chatter and day-time TV, a colonoscopy will be a relief!"

'I keep getting this RINGING in my ears!'

'There's a new push to improve the quality of food available...here's the takeovut menus for Ling's Chinese and the Indian in the High St!'

Burt's love of garlic was making him most unpopular with the other patients.

Twisted Peel has a bout of road rage.

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

"It's used to put down horses, but in small doses it's very relaxing."

'Just in case, I want you to shorten your Bucket List down to just one thing that you can do in this room.'