Patient People Gifts

"Been waiting long?"

I stood in line for an hour only to find out there's a height requirement. You must be this tall. Waits and measures!

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

'Bored?'

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

"Ah, the waiter ... And I was beginning to wonder if we really existed!"

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

Please Wait and wait and wait.

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"Dehumanization, maybe, but not depersonalization."

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

'You gotta help me, doctor! I took a deep breath to get some fresh air and inhaled my Blackberry!'

'Of course, they're healthy - they listen to me far better than my patients do.'

"I've never felt better in my life."

"Are you going to move?"

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

A feast in a hospital bed.

'There's only one side effect from this medication. It starts when you don't pay my bill!'

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

Thanks TSA

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"Take me! After 15 minutes of cell phone chatter and day-time TV, a colonoscopy will be a relief!"

'Fashion Victim.'