Medical Patient Gifts

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

A midwife holding a baby

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Keyworker

Physician tending a mummy.

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'