Patient Patron Gifts

Please Wait and wait and wait.

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

'Bored?'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'I'm going to be a little late.'

"Dehumanization, maybe, but not depersonalization."

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

"Oh him, that's Ron. He's a permanent fixture in here."

'You gotta help me, doctor! I took a deep breath to get some fresh air and inhaled my Blackberry!'

"Let's run a few tests and see where we are."

'There's no cure, but the good news is we have some great support groups!'

A feast in a hospital bed.

'There's only one side effect from this medication. It starts when you don't pay my bill!'

'It's the paperwork you need to fill out to show that we're focussing on patients needs.'

Thanks TSA

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"Take me! After 15 minutes of cell phone chatter and day-time TV, a colonoscopy will be a relief!"

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'The usual.'

'Fashion Victim.'

'There's a new push to improve the quality of food available...here's the takeovut menus for Ling's Chinese and the Indian in the High St!'

Burt's love of garlic was making him most unpopular with the other patients.

I stood in line for an hour only to find out there's a height requirement. You must be this tall. Waits and measures!

'Long term investors' tortoise wins 'Stock market success' race against the hare

Expect delays.

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'